The Narrowing Was in Our Own Hearts (2 Corinthians 6:11-13)
Today’s Word
[Open Wide Your Hearts] (NIV)
11 We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you.
12 We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us.
13 As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also.
Background
Today’s passage is only three verses long, yet in these three verses the whole letter catches its breath. In 6:3-10 Paul ran one long sentence without pausing: beatings, prisons, hunger, glory and dishonor, and that sevenfold paradox ending with “having nothing, and yet possessing everything.” He poured out what kind of servant he had been. And when that sentence finally ends, his voice drops. He calls them by name. “Corinthians.”
Paul rarely stops in the middle of a letter to address his readers this directly. The closest parallels in the New Testament are “You foolish Galatians!” in Galatians 3:1 and “you Philippians” in Philippians 4:15. In Galatians it was an anguished rebuke. In Philippians it was a word of gratitude. The cry in 2 Corinthians sits somewhere between the two. It is a voice that carries both hurt and longing.
To hear it properly, we need to know the history between Paul and this church. Paul founded it. He stayed in Corinth a year and a half, making tents to support himself while he preached (Acts 18:1-11). But after he left, the church split into factions, and Paul had to write to them again and again. In between came a painful visit (2:1) and a letter written “out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears” (2:4). On top of that, traveling teachers with impressive letters of recommendation had arrived and were undercutting him. They said his change of travel plans proved he could not be trusted (1:15-17), and they whispered that his refusal to take financial support must be hiding some angle.
So a good number of the Corinthians had closed themselves off from Paul. On the surface it was still the church he had planted, but underneath they were keeping their distance. Throughout the first part of the letter Paul has been answering those suspicions one by one. Now, having finished his long defense, he stops arguing and simply shows them his heart.
“We have spoken freely to you” is literally “our mouth has been opened to you.” It means he has held nothing back. In this letter Paul has confessed his weakness, his tears, even his despair. In 1:8 he admitted that “we despaired of life itself,” and in chapter 4 he compared himself to a fragile clay jar. He did not polish his image. An open mouth was the sign of an open heart.
“Opened wide our hearts” echoes an Old Testament prayer. Psalm 119:32 in the Greek Old Testament (the Septuagint) uses the same verb Paul uses here: “I ran the way of your commandments when you enlarged my heart.” The NIV renders it “you have broadened my understanding,” but the picture behind it is a heart made roomy by God. For the psalmist, an enlarged heart was God’s gift, and with it he could run in God’s ways. Paul’s heart was wide open not because he was naturally easygoing but, as he said in 5:14, because “Christ’s love compels us.”
In verse 12 Paul uses a word that means to be squeezed into a tight space, to be cramped. The NIV smooths it into “withholding,” but the original image is narrowness. The same word appeared in 4:8: “hard pressed on every side, but not crushed.” There, “crushed” translates this very word. Paul was pressed from every direction, but he was never boxed in. The Corinthians, on the other hand, were being pressed by no one, and yet they had backed themselves into a narrow room. Paul makes the contrast sharp: you have not lost your place in my heart; your own hearts have grown narrow.
The word for “affection” in verse 12 is different from the word for “hearts” in verse 11. Verse 11 uses the ordinary word for the heart. Verse 12 uses a word that originally meant the inward organs, the bowels. Ancient people located the deepest feelings in the gut. It is close to what we mean when we speak of a gut-level tenderness. Paul is saying that their deep affection had dried up, that they had pulled away from him at the core.
In verse 13 Paul adds, “I speak as to my children.” In 1 Corinthians 4:15 he had written, “Even if you had ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel.” This is not a claim of authority but a reminder of relationship. It is the tone of a parent speaking to a child who has gone quiet. And he asks for “a fair exchange.” I have opened my heart; now open yours. It can sound transactional, but really it describes how love works. Love cannot travel through a door that is open on only one side.
Paul’s plea picks up again in 7:2: “Make room for us in your hearts.” Between the two, 6:14-7:1 warns against being yoked together with unbelievers. Scholars offer different explanations for why that section sits where it does. What is clear is that Paul wants two things from the Corinthians at once. He wants them to open their hearts to the servant of the gospel, and to close them to what stands against God. Their problem was that they were closed where they should have been open, and open where they should have been closed.
Key Words Made Simple
- Spoken freely: Greek to stoma hēmōn aneōgen, literally “our mouth has been opened.” It means speaking candidly and holding nothing back, and it carries the sense of an open heart behind open words.
- Hearts (v. 11): Greek kardia. The most common word for the center of a person, where thoughts, will, and feelings meet.
- Opened wide: Greek platynō, to widen or enlarge. The Septuagint uses it in Psalm 119:32 for God enlarging the heart. It describes a heart with plenty of room for others to enter.
- Withholding: Greek stenochōreō, to be squeezed into a narrow place, to feel cramped. It is the word translated “crushed” in 4:8, where Paul says he is hard pressed but not crushed.
- Affection (v. 12): Greek splanchna. Literally the inward organs. It is used for deep, tender feeling. The verb Matthew uses when Jesus “had compassion” on the crowds comes from the same root (Matthew 9:36).
- Children: Greek tekna. A warm word for one’s own children. Paul saw the Corinthians as children born to him through the gospel.
- Fair exchange: Greek antimisthia, a fitting return for what has been received. Here it is a gentle request to answer love with love.
- Open wide: the same verb platynō, now as a command. Paul invites them to let their hearts become as wide as his.
Expressions Worth Noting
- “Corinthians” (v. 11)
- After a long defense, Paul for the first time calls them by name. It is the moment he stops reasoning and simply reaches for them.
- When misunderstanding piles up between people, what is left in the end is calling each other by name. Even while hurt, Paul still called them his own.
- “We have spoken freely to you” (v. 11)
- Paul did not hide his weakness in this letter. He told them about his despair, the tearful letter, the fragile clay jar.
- Opening your heart does not mean showing only your best side. It means risking being seen in your weakness.
- “You are withholding yours from us” (v. 12)
- When a relationship cools, we usually assume the other person pushed us away. Paul gently turns that around. You are the one who closed the door.
- The words sting because they are usually true. A narrowed heart rarely realizes it has narrowed.
- “I speak as to my children” (v. 13)
- Paul does not command as an apostle; he asks as a parent. The same words land very differently depending on where you stand when you say them.
- A parent reaching for a hurt child offers the heart first, before sorting out who was right.
- “Open wide your hearts also” (v. 13)
- Love cannot flow in only one direction. Paul has already thrown his door open, and now it is their turn.
- The verb is a command, but it is an invitation, not coercion. A closed door cannot be forced from outside; it has to be opened from within.
What the Passage Says
- A servant of the gospel does not hide his heart (v. 11). Paul said everything he had to say to the Corinthians. He explained and defended himself, and he also showed his weakness and tears. His open mouth was the sign of an open heart, and that wide heart came from the love of Christ.
- Distance in a relationship usually grows on our side (v. 12). Paul never pushed the Corinthians away. They had not lost their place; their own hearts had grown narrow. As misunderstanding, rumor, and hurt piled up, their deep affection slowly dried out.
- An apostle’s appeal is a parent’s plea (v. 13a). Paul does not lead with authority. He comes “as to my children.” As the one who brought them to birth through the gospel, he asks them to come back rather than scolding them.
- Love is made whole when it flows both ways (v. 13b). What Paul hopes for is a heart that answers his. Love cannot pass through a door open on only one side. Paul leaves his side open and waits.
- We must discern where to open and where to close (the flow of 6:11-7:2). The verses that follow warn against being yoked with what opposes God. The Corinthians had closed their hearts to the servant of the gospel and opened them to the world’s standards. Opening wide does not mean opening to everything. It means opening to the love God has sent.
Standing Before This Word Today
Reading this short passage slowly, it is hard not to stop at verse 12. We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us.
That is not an easy thing to hear. No one wants to be told their heart has grown narrow. When a relationship drifts, we usually look for the reason outside ourselves. They changed first. They hurt me. They never understood me. And some of that may well be true. The Corinthians surely had their side of the story. Paul had changed his plans, sent a painful letter, and exposed their wrongs. After things like that, it feels natural for a heart to close.
But Paul asks us to look past what feels natural. A heart does not narrow all at once. One small hurt settles in. A remark we overheard gets stacked on top of it. Little by little the room shrinks. At first we only meant to keep one person out, but before long the room has grown tight for others too. And the most unsettling part is that a narrowed heart rarely knows it has narrowed. It tends to think it has finally grown discerning, that it now sees people for who they really are.
It stays with us that the word Paul uses here also appeared in 4:8. Paul was pressed on every side but never crushed into a narrow place. His circumstances bore down on him, yet his heart stayed wide open. The Corinthians were the reverse. No one was confining them, yet they had walked into a cramped room on their own. That tells us the width of a heart does not depend on circumstances. There are wide hearts in the middle of suffering, and narrow hearts in places of ease.
So what makes a heart wide? Paul has already told us why his was. In 5:14, “Christ’s love compels us.” Paul had plenty of reasons to feel wounded by the Corinthians. They doubted him and listened to the people tearing him down. His heart did not close, and not because he was naturally generous. It was because he had first received that kind of love himself. Before the love of God who reconciled him while he was still an enemy, the Corinthians’ coldness was simply not a good enough reason to withdraw his own.
The prayer of Psalm 119 sounds again here. When you enlarged my heart. A wide heart is not something we manufacture by effort; it is something we ask God for. If we grit our teeth and try to be generous, it does not last. A door propped open by willpower soon tires and swings shut. But a heart God has enlarged is different. It does not expand and contract with other people’s responses.
The phrase “as to my children” in verse 13 is worth holding on to as well. Here Paul does not argue about who was right. He does not keep score of who failed first or who was hurt more. He simply speaks as a parent would: my door is open; please open yours. Wherever a relationship has broken, someone has to say that first. And the one who says it first is usually the one who loves more.
If we hold this passage up like a mirror, two questions rise together. The first is this: toward whom has my heart grown narrow? It may be someone I once made generous room for, whose name now makes something in me tighten. It could be family, someone in the church, or someone who hurt me long ago. This word quietly invites us to notice how much that person has shrunk the room inside us.
The second question comes when we find ourselves in Paul’s place. When I have opened my heart and the other person stays closed, what do I do? Most of the time, when they close, we close too. It seems fair. But Paul did not shut his own door because they had shut theirs. He kept it open and called them by name to come back in. Not because they were in the right, but because Christ had first done exactly that for us.
In the end, this word brings us before God. The plea to open wide is about people, but before that it is about God and us. A heart that has narrowed toward God narrows toward people as well, and a heart enlarged before God grows wide before people too. Perhaps the most honest prayer we can bring before this passage today is simply this: Lord, the narrowing was in my own heart. Please make it wide again.
Living It Out
- Bring to mind one relationship where your heart has narrowed. If there is someone who has less room in your heart than before, quietly bring their name to mind. Trace when it started and why. This is not a time to tally up their faults, but to see how your own heart has been closing.
- Pray Psalm 119:32. Use the psalmist’s words as a short prayer through the day: Lord, enlarge my heart, and I will run in the path of your commands. It is practice in asking God for a wide heart before trying to manufacture one.
- Be the first to say their name. In a place of hurt, Paul was the first to call out, “Corinthians.” Send a short note to someone you have drifted from. It does not need to be a long explanation or an apology. Letting them know the door is open is enough.
- Speak honestly about a weakness. Paul’s open mouth was willing to show his weakness. Share one thing you are struggling with right now with someone close to you. Opening the heart often begins with a small confession like that.
- Discern where to open and where to close. Write down, side by side, where your heart opens easily and where it shuts quickly. Ask whether it is closed to the people and the word God has sent, and open to what draws you away from him. As we saw in the last passage, Seen One Way, Known Another (2 Corinthians 6:6-10), discernment grows clearer when we hold on to how God knows us rather than how others see us.
Questions to Sit With
- Who has the least room in my heart right now? When and how did that narrowing begin?
- Am I mistaking a narrowed heart for having become more discerning?
- When someone closes their heart to me, do I tend to close mine in return, or keep the door open and wait?
- Have I ever opened my heart like Paul did, even to the point of showing weakness? What did I fear, and what changed?
- Is my heart toward God growing wider or narrower these days? How is that connected to the way I treat people?
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